Slack a$$ with a busted laptop and time to kill...

"It was a dark and stormy night..." That's what my Facebook friend Bill suggested as my opening line for my latest blog post. Coincidently, it IS a dark and stormy night, and I'm bored stupid. So, I'm just gonna purge my brain of whatever is going on up there...no matter how idiotic it is...so buckle your seatbelt.

I'm using the main PC in the dining room to write this. My little notebook I lovingly named "Junior" was injured. By my foot. One night as I was lying in my bed, I was playing a simple game of Word Whomp. I got so tired, I shut Junior down and set him on the floor...something I had never done because I was worried it would get broken. The next morning when the alarm went off, I jumped up and stepped on "something" and heard it crrrraaaaaaaaaack! I didn't bother to look at what it was until after my morning tea and shower. Yeah...Junior's screen is all busted, but the rest of it works just fine. So, I got this magic cord thing from my engineer friend John and hooked poor Junior up to a 32 inch flat screen TV. Good news is, nothing's lost. The bad news is, now it's too big to fit in my purse.

Okay, so let the brain purging begin, so I can make room for more stupid stuff.

I learned a bunch of new stuff over the last 6 months...like...stuff I thought I knew about stuff I really don't know as much as I thought about stuff. I'm still learning new stuff and some of the new stuff I am learning is really ticking me off. Therefore, I need to practice, "bite tongue, smile pretty" so I can adapt to new stuff. Did that make sense? Probably not. But it did to me.

My dream man is Richard Collier. (Character in the movie "Somewhere In Time"...if you haven't seen it, rent it...unless you really hate chick flicks. Rent it anyway.) Alas, Richard is dead. In both the movie and real life. I really think Richard would have loved me. Like Elise, I would let him walk around with toilet paper stuck to his face all day, just so he knows there is no shame being "him" around me. And I'd tell him if his suit sucked. But as I said, Richard is dead. Oh, and he's not real either. That could be a problem.

(Hang in there...I'm still brain purging.)

If I had a son, I would have named him Vladimir and he would have known how to spell it by the time he was three months old.

I think Smart Cars are just a Jedi mind trick. I've only seen them in one color. Blue. Do they look sexier in red? Ouch! GAHD! My brain hurt on THAT thought!

Squirrel does NOT taste like chicken. Rattlesnake does NOT taste like chicken. Gator does NOT taste like chicken. Chicken flavored ramen does NOT taste like chicken. Remember that snack cracker Chikin in a Biskit? What the hell is THAT? They put a chicken on the box to psych me out? The only thing chicken about that is the guy who typed the fine print of the REAL ingredients. Chicken tastes like chicken. End of story.

Iiiiiiiiiiii'm Henery the Eighth I am...

Stupid ideas make great infomercials. Really. How many of you bought the "Bump It"?
Somebody got rich on little pieces of plastic. Maybe it's my turn now. What can I do with a crapload of dryer lint?

Jello creeps me out.

If I had another son, I would have named him Jonesy...after that stupid cat on "Alien."

I heard Snooki read a book. That's nice. Who's Snooki?


Oh GAHD, I think my cerebrum is empty now. (insert joke here).

Going to bed to reload.

Until next time,
KW