Thursday, April 8, 2010

Minute 6 - 2010

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Five years flew by in a fraction of an instant...and still, I'm wondering why it happened. The difference between then and now is, I'm finally REALLY taking her advice. Not just touching upon "Minute 6", or saying out loud what my blessings are, but actually doing it and believing it.

One thing that was missing from my previous practices with Minute 6 was the strength not to obsess with the "what could have beens." If I had done more, prayed more, stood up more, would it have made a difference? I obsessed over how I SHOULD feel about many situations in my life...and not how I really felt and how to deal with it properly. I'm convinced that this kind thinking is what eventually made me physically ill. I had so many symptoms, saw many specialists, treated with so many prescription medications...I wasn't me anymore. Minute 6 was no longer working for me. Karen was dead and gone.

My thyroid eventually whacked out. I felt and looked like hell. I really didn't believe I was going to pull out of it. I've seen people who have been battling it for years and still not well. I've read every Mary Shomon book available, only to become more depressed with the news that few doctors will take me seriously and REALLY want to help me. And the ones who do will cost more than I can afford.

My last Minute 6 before the change was more of a 5 minute cry to God. Then Minute 6 was the decision to change. I believe things began to move in my direction after that 5 minute prayer. A co-worker of mine forwarded an email titled "Life Handbook 2010." I don't like email forwards and generally delete them. I can't tell you why I opened this one, but I'm glad I did. This list helped me find myself again. For those who have been asking me how I lost weight, read Health number 3.

LIFE HANDBOOK 2010

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

I printed up this email and started living by it. I figured, it couldn't hurt. Before long, I was eating whole foods and dropped junk. Later, I found a naturopathic doctor and took a chance that she could help me fill in the gaps with my new lifestyle change. I began taking better supplements and stopped Gluten. Some people may call it quackery, but after going to so many specialists who couldn't begin to do anything but raise the dosage of synthroid, plus put me on other meds, it was a last ditch effort. Long story short, I lost 30 lbs, my exercise tolerance is back! I love to walk...my mind is clear, and I feel the best I have felt in years. The only med I am on now is half of the smallest dose of Synthroid. My family doctor said whatever I was doing, to keep doing...because it's working. I don't think it was just one thing that started the healing process, but I DO believe that changing the way I think was the key to it all.

So now, Minute 6 is quite different for me. When I feel the emptiness of losing Ginni and Claus...or find myself reliving past failures, I allow myself exactly 5 minutes to grieve...but I don't beat myself up anymore. I know I did everything I could do. I don't allow myself the opportunity to obsess over things I cannot change. I use the grief time to cry tears of love...constructive tears, because they deserve to know how much I love them...wherever they are. I say what's in my heart, and it's no longer self defeating. When I do, I can feel the love come back to me, if that makes any sense...and it makes it much easier to finally make it to Minute 6, where I need to get over myself. LOL.

This morning, I had a wonderful Minute 6 moment. I felt as though she were right here with me. And today, I am good. :)

Ginni, on this 5th anniversary, I hope I am doing you proud as you have done me.

I love you,
Sis