Friday, November 20, 2009

My "Top 5 Turkeys" of 2009

And by popular demand:

MY list of the "Top 5 Turkeys" of 2009.

#5 Will Ferrell: Land of the Lost. Need I say more?

#4 Jon & Kate (does NOT include the 8): Jon, for not being able to keep the "gun in the holster" and Kate for crying about it on all 181 channels I pay good money for!

#3 Octomom: Betting your older kids are embarrassed for you to come to PTA meetings.

#2 Richard Heene, Balloon Boy's dad: Seriously, dude. HOW LONG did you think you were going to get away with that hoax? I'm just glad your little boy turned you in before you wasted MORE tax payer dollars...AND rewarded with book deals and stuff that you CLEARLY don't deserve!

#1 Kanye: Not only did you ruin the night for Taylor, you also ruined it for Beyonce, people in the audience who looked forward to hearing from the winners, and scores of your very own fans who were embarrassed FOR you. Was it really worth the cost?

So, who are YOUR Top 5 Turkeys of 2009?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

When to thaw the bird...

I posted a blurb about this on Facebook the other day. Truth is, everybody thaws they bird they own way. The simplest thing to do is just buy a fresh turkey and git r dun. HOWEVER, you rarely find those at 38 cents a pound, hence the thawing the rock solid thing and praying that you don't cut yourself on an iceberg while trying to scoop out the gizzards. I HATE that! I swear, every year I manage to get Gizzard Gash!

Nestle's site says to thaw the bird for 24 hours for each 5 lbs. of bird. Another site says 24 hours for every 4 lbs. I've got a 320 pound bird. (18 lbs after thawed). Since I cook mine the night before, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that 24 hours for every 4 or 5 pounds is a load of crap. I'm gonna clean my fridge tonight and put that thing in there and give it a WEEK to thaw.

Hopefully, I won't have any injuries to report this Thanksgiving. And if I do, may they be minimal.

Can I come to YOUR house next year? I have a better chance of surviving by bringing the green bean casserole.

Until next time,

Monday, November 9, 2009

*cough-cough* HACK! Gag!

I haven't been on blogger so long that there are cobwebs all over the place! Dust a flyin' EVERYWHERE! Anybody got a Swiffer?

Okay, seriously. Where have I been, you ask? (you asked, right?) Well, besides working hard for the Race for the Cure, I've actually been working to clear my own house of the cobwebs and stuff. It's amazing what collects when the weather's warm and you ain't never home. So far, I'm close to done cleaning all of the closets and cabinets and such. I just got ruthless and started throwing out stuff and donating stuff I don't use anymore. I figured, if I got to think longer than 5 minutes about whether I'm going to use it or not, then I just throw it out or donate it. That train of thought came back to bite me in the butt on Saturday. Apparently, I was too quick to give away the gravy boat, so I had to serve the gravy in an empty "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" container. Now, I'm giving myself 10 minutes to ponder a possession before I toss it.

I'm also working on "Big Dummies - Volume 2." In Volume 1, only a few stories made the cut. This time, I'm not leaving any of my collection out. I don't want to take time trying to decide what should go in, dagnabbit. I have enough trouble trying to figure out which shoes goes with which purse. I think that's enough trauma to the nerves. So yeah, D2 will definitely be BIGGER. By the way, my friend Tammy wants more pictures in D2. (she's got that whole "hate to read" argument going again.) If you got any you'd like to donate to the book, send 'em to They must be your own photos, not those you ripped off from the internet, k? K.
Don't think D2 going to be ready in time for the holidays, but it will definitely be ready for the Spring. And just like Dummies 1 and Amazing Trace, all proceeds benefit the Tidewater Affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure.

Until next time,
Luv ya!